Sunday, August 17, 2008
14 months Old
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Hair Raising Stuff
Things here are quiet and smooth for the most part. My diet has been going OK and I've lost about 6 kilograms so far, but cheated last night and today. Damn you chocolate muffins and custard tarts!
I pretty much lost my breastmilk over the Christmas period. Seth got more and more fussy at the breast and then just refused to latch basically. He is a little buggar with the feeding - if it's not there pouring down his throat then he's not interested in making any effort at all which leads to a self-perpetuating cycle or decreased supply. I took a few days to decide what to do about this which was quite an emotional struggle. Getting my milk back last time was such an awful experience - could I really put myself through that again? It didn't help that when we took him for a 9 month check-up at Child Health we struck the cranky old bitch one who told us we had to start giving him formula. Despite the fact that he has gained huge amounts of weight and is just over the 50th % in height and weight.
I felt very emotional after she said that and cried quite a bit. Little Mister was wound tight too and asked her aunt what to do, who said that formula is horrid and not to give it - he's better off with real food at his age. Considering how much he bloody eats I agree! My internal voice was screaming "If you don't re-establish supply it proves you're a bad mother undeserving of such a great baby". Gotta love that damned internal voice don't ya? So I went to the doctor, went back on domperidone and got enough supply back for a morning and evening feed. And I'm working on my horrible internal dialogue - the minute something goes wrong I stress out that I'm selfish and awful like MY mother which isn't great.
My brother has been quite unwell with his PTSD and depression. I was very concerned for his well-being after we came home and I had some phone calls that worried me greatly. His wife is going away for 3 weeks at the end of February and I was very worried about him being left alone, so Seth and I are packing our case and going up there for 2 weeks. I feel bad taking him away from LM, but that's just how it has to be. I worry that left to his own devices he would either drink himself into oblivion or kill himself, so if all it takes to help him out is to be up there cooking dinner at night and listening to him then that's not much of a cost on my behalf is it?
Seth is growing up like crazy - he is nearly out of size 0's! He has mastered the commando crawl and thumps his way around the house looking for stuff to pull at or tear or chew on. We've had to move pot plants that were too much temptation for young fingers, and the dogs water bowl is also apparently magnetic in its appeal. He only pushes off with his right foot at this stage and the left leg just kind of flails behind as he goes. The state of the front of his summer suits was horrifying me - rental carpet is really gross for dirt - and now we have to permanently keep him in denim overalls to maintain some state of cleanliness (aka - it doesn't show the dirt).
He can also pull himself up to standing and loves standing on the sofa while clutching the back rest and jumping up and down like a man possessed. His sleeping is going OK overnight and he'll sometimes sleep the whole way through, but most nights he wakes up by 4:30 wanting company and hops into our bed. He's so big and strong now though that his nocturnal flailings are very disturbing to us! I don't know how people co-sleep for years on end without getting injured by flying limbs.
LM is really hating work, or rather her workmates. I start back at work in March, but unfortunately my childcare situation has not come through at all so it's looking like I'll be going back one day a week and working when LM has time off. Beanie G has also offered to care for Seth one day a month until he starts his proper daycare in July which is a lovely offer. Somehow we will muddle through all this until he's at the centre that I really love - it's just up the street and it has Tibetan prayer flags in the foyer! I'll be able to walk him up and leave him there then jump on the bus straight outside it to go to work. He'll probably love going to care and seems a bit bored being stuck with just me and the same ol' toys all the time, but thinking about him being there makes me wan to burst into tears. He is my precious little sweetie and I won't know myself without him at my side!!!
I'll find some pics to post tomorrow if I find time. I'm having bad computer problems with it turning itself off all the time which I suspect is the CPU overheating, so I'm blowing it all out with compressed air tomorrow and putting in a better heatsink fan which should rectify the problem.
Oh yeah - I cut my hair! Yes I'm going to be radical and put my picture here and hope the sky doesn't collapse.
I pretty much lost my breastmilk over the Christmas period. Seth got more and more fussy at the breast and then just refused to latch basically. He is a little buggar with the feeding - if it's not there pouring down his throat then he's not interested in making any effort at all which leads to a self-perpetuating cycle or decreased supply. I took a few days to decide what to do about this which was quite an emotional struggle. Getting my milk back last time was such an awful experience - could I really put myself through that again? It didn't help that when we took him for a 9 month check-up at Child Health we struck the cranky old bitch one who told us we had to start giving him formula. Despite the fact that he has gained huge amounts of weight and is just over the 50th % in height and weight.
I felt very emotional after she said that and cried quite a bit. Little Mister was wound tight too and asked her aunt what to do, who said that formula is horrid and not to give it - he's better off with real food at his age. Considering how much he bloody eats I agree! My internal voice was screaming "If you don't re-establish supply it proves you're a bad mother undeserving of such a great baby". Gotta love that damned internal voice don't ya? So I went to the doctor, went back on domperidone and got enough supply back for a morning and evening feed. And I'm working on my horrible internal dialogue - the minute something goes wrong I stress out that I'm selfish and awful like MY mother which isn't great.
My brother has been quite unwell with his PTSD and depression. I was very concerned for his well-being after we came home and I had some phone calls that worried me greatly. His wife is going away for 3 weeks at the end of February and I was very worried about him being left alone, so Seth and I are packing our case and going up there for 2 weeks. I feel bad taking him away from LM, but that's just how it has to be. I worry that left to his own devices he would either drink himself into oblivion or kill himself, so if all it takes to help him out is to be up there cooking dinner at night and listening to him then that's not much of a cost on my behalf is it?
Seth is growing up like crazy - he is nearly out of size 0's! He has mastered the commando crawl and thumps his way around the house looking for stuff to pull at or tear or chew on. We've had to move pot plants that were too much temptation for young fingers, and the dogs water bowl is also apparently magnetic in its appeal. He only pushes off with his right foot at this stage and the left leg just kind of flails behind as he goes. The state of the front of his summer suits was horrifying me - rental carpet is really gross for dirt - and now we have to permanently keep him in denim overalls to maintain some state of cleanliness (aka - it doesn't show the dirt).
He can also pull himself up to standing and loves standing on the sofa while clutching the back rest and jumping up and down like a man possessed. His sleeping is going OK overnight and he'll sometimes sleep the whole way through, but most nights he wakes up by 4:30 wanting company and hops into our bed. He's so big and strong now though that his nocturnal flailings are very disturbing to us! I don't know how people co-sleep for years on end without getting injured by flying limbs.
LM is really hating work, or rather her workmates. I start back at work in March, but unfortunately my childcare situation has not come through at all so it's looking like I'll be going back one day a week and working when LM has time off. Beanie G has also offered to care for Seth one day a month until he starts his proper daycare in July which is a lovely offer. Somehow we will muddle through all this until he's at the centre that I really love - it's just up the street and it has Tibetan prayer flags in the foyer! I'll be able to walk him up and leave him there then jump on the bus straight outside it to go to work. He'll probably love going to care and seems a bit bored being stuck with just me and the same ol' toys all the time, but thinking about him being there makes me wan to burst into tears. He is my precious little sweetie and I won't know myself without him at my side!!!
I'll find some pics to post tomorrow if I find time. I'm having bad computer problems with it turning itself off all the time which I suspect is the CPU overheating, so I'm blowing it all out with compressed air tomorrow and putting in a better heatsink fan which should rectify the problem.
Oh yeah - I cut my hair! Yes I'm going to be radical and put my picture here and hope the sky doesn't collapse.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
XXX-mas
Well we ended up going up north for 2 weeks instead of a few days. It was really a great time. My brothers house is a beautiful big high-set with tropical gardens and a salt water swimming pool. The drive up took two days and Seth was surprisingly good in the car. On all 4 days of driving it was just the last hour on the road that he became miserable an I would even say that he cried less while travelling than he does at home - maybe because both parents are in clear sight at all times??? He didn't sleep well in the car and I think this may be due to the forward-facing seat situation, but if we hadn't turned the seat then I couldn't have entertained him with changing toys over, giving him drinks and the occasional biscuit to suck on and gum to death.
The reason we stayed longer was that my brother wanted us to. He has PTSD and is going through intense therapy for it whilst on paid leave from the army. He is having some troubles with everyday living and isn't back at work until April at the earliest. As many of you know my brothers and I were pretty much enstranged for a long time due to family conflict arising from our parents fucking things up. This trip gave my brother and I some time to really talk things over in a meaningful way and share some of the burdens we have both carried for years. This empathy between us is a great thing and I believe our relationship to be quite close and healed now.
Seth had a truly wonderful time with his cousins, aged 6 years and 8 weeks. He would sit and stare at tiny Z and babble to him, and big Z was a fantastic source of company and humour for Seth. She would hula-hoop for him while he would laugh hysterically and bang his hands on his highchair tray! When he was complaining and crying she would run up to him and spin his top for him or do a performance with his teddy bears to cheer him up and distract him until I had time to pick him up. I felt very sad for Seth when we left to go home, knowing that he was just stuck with the two of us again and no fun little kids to hang out with.
Staying for so long was a bit like living in a funky commune - we'd take turns to cook meals, go shopping, clean the kitchen, mop the floors and do loads of washing. The kids all had plenty of attention and we took big Z out for a day so my brother, his wife and tiny Z could have some quiet time and big Z could get lots of attention, something that's so missed by older siblings with a new baby in the house. My SIL was bemoaning the fact that none of her pants fit her any more since having the baby (she is a triathlete folks so her regular clothes are teeny weeny) so I sewed her 4 pairs of pants tailored to fit her body type. It was nice to be able to help someone out when I know how they're feeling post-natally. Christmas day was wonderfully stress-free. I made the salads in the morning, my brother roasted the huge organic turkey and we ate kilos of fresh prawns. Take parents out of the mix and Christmas is suddenly stress-free and really fun!
Unfortunately Seth's sleeping patterns have gone to shit from being away. He was in a cot in our room, so onctrolled crying wasn't really an option and he ended up in bed with us for most of the night every night. On the road we stayed in motels and he slept with us then too, so he still wants to be in with us now we're home. I'm weaning him back into being in the cot now which means better sleep for everyone if I succeed. He really doesn't sleep that well in with us anyway. Even though he likes the company he can't resist playing with my hair and touching our faces when they're so tantalisingly close by.
I drank a lot of beer when we were away and so did LM. What better way to cool down the tropical heath than a few Coronas with lime stuffed in them? Unfortunately this led to a few kilos being gained over the festive season too - long distance driving means lots of sitting and eating junk food. We have gone on a pretty strict kick-start diet using protein shakes and low-carb food. I've got a dreadful headache today and diarhoea to boot, but it will only be a couple of days and this will settle down and the kilos will start to come off. I really need to lose ten kilos before starting back at work in March. My job is quite physical and I'm on my feet a lot so I don't want to feel like I'm struggling. I'll keep everyone updated on how my efforts are going!
I'll post some pics tomorrow when I'm not busy with putting clothes away and making baby food. Hope you're all doing well and had a great festive season!
The reason we stayed longer was that my brother wanted us to. He has PTSD and is going through intense therapy for it whilst on paid leave from the army. He is having some troubles with everyday living and isn't back at work until April at the earliest. As many of you know my brothers and I were pretty much enstranged for a long time due to family conflict arising from our parents fucking things up. This trip gave my brother and I some time to really talk things over in a meaningful way and share some of the burdens we have both carried for years. This empathy between us is a great thing and I believe our relationship to be quite close and healed now.
Seth had a truly wonderful time with his cousins, aged 6 years and 8 weeks. He would sit and stare at tiny Z and babble to him, and big Z was a fantastic source of company and humour for Seth. She would hula-hoop for him while he would laugh hysterically and bang his hands on his highchair tray! When he was complaining and crying she would run up to him and spin his top for him or do a performance with his teddy bears to cheer him up and distract him until I had time to pick him up. I felt very sad for Seth when we left to go home, knowing that he was just stuck with the two of us again and no fun little kids to hang out with.
Staying for so long was a bit like living in a funky commune - we'd take turns to cook meals, go shopping, clean the kitchen, mop the floors and do loads of washing. The kids all had plenty of attention and we took big Z out for a day so my brother, his wife and tiny Z could have some quiet time and big Z could get lots of attention, something that's so missed by older siblings with a new baby in the house. My SIL was bemoaning the fact that none of her pants fit her any more since having the baby (she is a triathlete folks so her regular clothes are teeny weeny) so I sewed her 4 pairs of pants tailored to fit her body type. It was nice to be able to help someone out when I know how they're feeling post-natally. Christmas day was wonderfully stress-free. I made the salads in the morning, my brother roasted the huge organic turkey and we ate kilos of fresh prawns. Take parents out of the mix and Christmas is suddenly stress-free and really fun!
Unfortunately Seth's sleeping patterns have gone to shit from being away. He was in a cot in our room, so onctrolled crying wasn't really an option and he ended up in bed with us for most of the night every night. On the road we stayed in motels and he slept with us then too, so he still wants to be in with us now we're home. I'm weaning him back into being in the cot now which means better sleep for everyone if I succeed. He really doesn't sleep that well in with us anyway. Even though he likes the company he can't resist playing with my hair and touching our faces when they're so tantalisingly close by.
I drank a lot of beer when we were away and so did LM. What better way to cool down the tropical heath than a few Coronas with lime stuffed in them? Unfortunately this led to a few kilos being gained over the festive season too - long distance driving means lots of sitting and eating junk food. We have gone on a pretty strict kick-start diet using protein shakes and low-carb food. I've got a dreadful headache today and diarhoea to boot, but it will only be a couple of days and this will settle down and the kilos will start to come off. I really need to lose ten kilos before starting back at work in March. My job is quite physical and I'm on my feet a lot so I don't want to feel like I'm struggling. I'll keep everyone updated on how my efforts are going!
I'll post some pics tomorrow when I'm not busy with putting clothes away and making baby food. Hope you're all doing well and had a great festive season!
Friday, December 14, 2007
He looks like an angel......
I had a most stressful day today getting everything finished up for X-Mas gifts. I say finished up, but I just mean for the interstate contingent. I had a "lightbulb moment" this afternoon as I struggled at the post office that Christmas is in fact not run by baby Jesus or some jolly guy in a res suit, but is in fact run by overworked, overstress, tired WOMEN. Young women in shiny office wear, mothers with vomit on one sleeve and snot on the other, older women with adult children or nieces and nephews..... all of us out there choosing the gifts, buying the gifts, transporting the gifts, wrapping the gifts, writing the cards and then posting the motherfuckers. And not just for our own family and friends - oh no - for our partners as well. Do any men buy and send their own gifts? Cause NO judging by what I saw and heard today! When I regaled LM with this fact when she got home from worked she laughed guiltily and said that she might as well transition cause that sums her right up too!
I'm not sure whether Seth is teething or just being difficult lately. His personality is in full force and it's a blessing and a curse. He dearly loves LM and I now and will cling to us passionately, nuzzling our necks and tickling our ears with his little fingers. When we are both sitting on the couch and he's between us he can't make up his mind which one he wants the most and will grope his sweatiness all over one of us giggling with delight and then launch himself at the other one with the passion of someone who hasn't seen their lover for several months. This is delightful of course, but the flipside is that this clinginess is kicking my arse for getting things done. Even leaving the room to go to the toilet begins desperate wails from him wondering where the hell I've dared to go and ABANDON HIM ALL ALONE IN THIS CRUEL WORLD YOU BITCH! Even sitting in the pram when he can't touch me drives him crazy and he lunges desperately trying to grab at my arm and gum my wrist into submission and permanent attachment.
Today at the Post Office it was so ridiculously busy and hot as freaking Hades in this awful tropical weather we're having. I was balancing multiple bags and bundles all to be sent to different people in different packaging. Every bundle needed the appropriate postage satchel for size and content. Every satchel needed addressing, signing, stuffing and sealing. and then I had to take them up to be weighed and paid for. And Seth screamed, snotted and sobbed through most of it. By the time I had finally finished all the labelling and sealing and was ready to stand in the ridiculously long line to pay for it all it had reached the point where I took him out of the pram to cling onto me and I piled the gifts in the pram and pushed them. Of course once I picked him up the tears dried immediately and he started flirting outrageously with everyone in sight. I can understand him doing that with our next door neighbour (who was also posting gifts to her husbands relatives) but did he have to do it to the geriatric gent behind us with the poorly fitting dentures who then felt compelled to play peek-a-boo with Seth for the next 30 minutes so he squealed right in my ear the whole time?
Well I must say THANK FUCK Little Mister has finished her last shift before being on holidays for 6 weeks. It has been doing my head in managing Seth practically alone as LM works long hours to get some extra pay before we go away on our holiday. He gets up at 4:30 am now that it gets light so early, which means I also get up at 4:30 am which is a joy (not). Now at least we can take it in turns getting up in the morning so we can both have better amounts of sleep and both enjoy the time we spend with Seth more. I am finding myself quite grumpy some days as I'm just so tired and the weather is so hot. I'm going to relish being in a really good mood because of being rested and having more energy to play fun games with Seth instead of feeling exhausted and frustrated as he refuses to lie still to have his nappy changed and smears poop all over the change table.
I downloaded Netscape because I finally got the shits with IE. Why didn't I do that sooner? And why didn't anyone tell me that my blog looks ass in Netscape?
A shout out to Calliope. Egg retrieval for her IVF is nearly upon her and I've got a great feeling about it, but still it's worth all of us crossing our fingers extra hard and keeping her in our prayers during this time. Nobody deserves breastmilk vomit down her cleavage more than her and it's been a long road to get to this point. I'm praying for you girl.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Little Man Seth
Anyone remember Kwynne? God I loved her blog. I almost felt angry when she quit blogging after her little boy was born - didn't she know other butch mums and lesbian mums in general needed her? Now I understand. Bloody parenting takes up all your time! Well, it takes up all my time and energy. When I go back to work in March it will be like having a mini holiday for 2 days a week.
Development-wise Seth is coming along nicely. He is a really keen eater and for 7 months old is fantastic with finger foods. I met friends for brunch this morning and ordered him a plate of toast fingers which he happily destroyed for 2 hours. He has the occasional gag and cough with a few things, but generally he's really happy to eat very textured foods and eats broccoli like a champion. We've combined baby-led weaning techniques with more traditional soft food spoon feeding. He is a hungry little guy (only in the 20th percentile for weight, but 50th for height) and if we only ever offered him finger foods at this stage then he wouldn't really ever be satisfied. His pincer grip is there, but he stills prefers palmar grip. He hasn't really figured out how to chew with his gums, but seems pretty good at working the food against his palate with his tongue. He has gained weight pretty fast on solids and appears to be much taller. 2 weeks ago he weight 7.99 kilos but I think he's actually gained at least 0.5 of a kilo since then.
I'm still breastfeeding 3 - 4 times a day. I always offer the breast before solids, but the first feed of the day is the only one he is really settled at - for the others he fusses and cries and looks around distracted. I think he is frustrated with the lower supply maybe and is enjoying the immediate gratification of solid food. I'm hanging in there though and am hoping he will return to enjoying feeding more as time progresses and he gets older. It's hard for him at the moment because he loves anything new!
He can sit up unassisted now but needs to be sat up first. He has really strong arms and would love to crawl, but hasn't figured out how to pull his knees forward and co-ordinate them with the arms so he just kind of kicks his legs like he's doing vigorous doggy paddle. He is extremely social and adores other babies. Tankboy and his family were here for 2 days recently on their way to moving down south for 2 years. Seth loved having his twin cousins here - we propped them up in their high chairs all in a row and they passed mango pieces between themselves. Seth loves reaching out to pat other babies on the arms, backs and legs. He does the occasional lunge for the eyes, but is generally very gentle. He doesn't mind when other babies are a bit more vigorous with him - I was at a picnic with friends who have babies a couple of months older and they both crawled right over the top of him and he just laughed!
His sleep training seems to have "stuck" pretty well and he re-settled himself quickly most of the time, but he has recently taken to waking between 4 - 4:30 am and crying for long periods, so now I've kind of given up and just put him in our bed to go back to sleep or I am just too exhausted. I am still the only one doing night-time parenting so it's very tiring for me when he is disturbed. And yes, this still causes feelings of resentment for me.
My love grows and grows for Seth every day. He is such a personality now - extremely cuddly, confident and outgoing. He has golden skin and fair curls and is basically fucking gorgeous.
Things with my mother were very tense. I'll try and keep it brief, but basically she took very little interest in Seth and just wanted to read e-mails and magazines and watch cable. She hasn't really improved her behaviour with us at all and still wanted to be waited on. I only got through it by taking advice from the Dalai Lama in "The Art Of Happiness" and used his technique by focusing on what gift she has given my son - the gift of me never behaving like her and hence damaging him the way I have been damaged.
The first night here I gave her a detailed rundown about how Seth had been sleep-trained because had both been getting little sleep and were grumpy and it was crucial that she understand that if she hear him crying in the night that I am aware of it, already awake and addressing the problem in the way that our family had decided to deal with it. Of course when he woke and cried at 3am she went in and took him out of the fucking cot. She has no goddamned respect for me whatsoever. I felt physically ill when on her last night her she cuddled up to me on the couch and said "You know you're still my little baby". It took all my energy not to say "So does that mean you're sending me to my grandparents then?" since from the age of 4 months she used to leave me with them so she could "have a break" from me. Seth was obviously feeling the bad vibes when she was here and at times was quite scratchy and distressed. I have spoken to her on the phone since she went home and she said to me "for a child who looks like a Botticelli angel it hides a devil child underneath doesn't it?"...... nice.
He is far from a devil child. Yes the first 4 or 5 months were extremely challenging, but like forging metal it just made our bond stronger and helped turn me into a better, more tolerant parent. I am so glad that we used mainly attachment parenting techniques with him for those early months. He is the most affectionate baby I know and actively gives cuddles not only with me but with other people, even ones he doesn't know very well. After sussing someone out for a few minutes he will lean out to them indicating he'd like to be held and will often rest his head on their shoulder and sigh happily. He "chats" to strangers at the supermarket, cooing and babbling to them and smiling widely. He only cries if he's really frustrated or distressed but is otherwise calm and adaptable. Because his daytime napping was such a difficult issue (as in - he didn't) he has ended up being very flexible about his sleeping and will happily nap in the car, in his pram or in the sling. I take him to the "babes in arms" sessions at the movies and he'll sleep for the whole thing tucked up in his little cocoon. He loves going to Kindyroo classes and reaches out to pat other children and smiles and chats through most of the class. He has infinite trust in LM and I and never indicates fear when we hang up upside down by his legs or toss him in the air.
I have been really enjoying some low-pressure alone time lately. Sometimes I'll go for 3 days without seeing anyone and it really doesn't bother me. I spend my time truly enjoying being a SAHM, some days working very hard to achieve lots around the house and other days just drifting along playing peek-a-boo and reheating leftovers cause I can't be bothered to cook. This week I got out Lost Season 3 on DVD and watched episodes as Seth took his naps curled up beside me, half waking for drinks of water between sleep cycles and then snoozing back off. What a fucking awesome show and the DVD is definitely the best way to watch it. It's like a really, really good book compared to watching a movie - you can totally immerse yourself for hours in it, or watch just little bits at a time, the equivalent of reading a chapter at a hit.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
*sneaks back in*
I'll start off by saying that I haven't sewn nearly enough stuff and it's looking unlikely that I'll have a market stall before Christmas. I'm disappointed in myself, but it's been very difficult with LM working some double shifts and Seth needing a lot of attention so that's just how it is. I'm shifting my focus on that to over Christmas when LM has 6 weeks holidays and I can sit down and get things done without feeling like I'm leaving Seth to play on his own a lot.
I have a new nephew! He was born at home in a birthing pool and is cute as a button. The Captain and his wife are doing well and we're looking forward to visiting them at Christmas time to meet the new addition to the family.
Speaking of the Christmas trip - we're a bit insane aren't we? Taking a driving tour to the other end of the state in the middle of summer with a (then) 8 month old? It will take 16 hours of driving to get to our destination and we're breaking it up over 2 days. I need to borrow a porta-cot and we're going to have to use disposable nappies since I doubt the cloth ones will smell good in 40 degree weather - phewwwwww!
Seth is the most amazingly wonderful little boy now. He has started sleeping through over the last couple of nights which is a huge relief. We ended up having some real sleep troubles with him. It used to be that he wouldn't nap during the day but at least he would lay his head down at 6pm and then just briefly wake every 3 - 4 hours for a feed before sleeping again. When he turned about 5 months and started accelerating his development massively he started having some real troubles with staying asleep at night. He would roll over and wave his arms around and chat to himself and I was getting only a few hours of broken sleep a night myself because I would be constantly resettling him. We moved the cot into our room because he'd outgrown the bassinet and LM would often get up in the night and find me asleep in awful contorted angles with my arm through the bars of the cot to comfort Seth.
Things got worse when Seth would go down to sleep after a lot of settling (a new development after going down easily for so long) and would sleep for about 1 1/2 hours and then wake up and scream scream scream until his next feed. He was exhausted so he'd cry, but he'd want our company so he'd stay awake. It didn't matter what we did for him he would not settle until the next feed - he would just scream and fight and cry. So since he cried when we tried to settle him (this is for a couple of weeks mind you) we thought we'd see what would happen if we didn't try to settle him. We did controlled crying. I'm not going to give it any bullshit names like "controlled comforting" cause the point is that they cry really.
We moved his cot into his room and I sobbed as we dismantled it and moved it and set it up again. My little baby wouldn't be in arms reach any more! But I was also praying that this would work because if things kept going on as they were I was literally going to get sick from massive sleep deprivation. I'd read about the Ferber method and quite frankly thought that he leaves babies to cry for too long. We started out very gently and left Seth for 2 minutes at first, building up to 15 minutes for the first couple of nights. The first night he cried for 2 hours until his 10pm feed and then went to sleep easily after that feed. That's how much he would have cried out of his cot anyway so even though it was stressful for us to hear him cry it had already been stressful for us every night anyway. The next night he cried for about 1 1/2 hour and then slept for 1/2 an hour before having his 10 pm feed. Gradually things got easier and easier and now he usually cries for maybe 5 minutes when we first pop him down and that's it.
I really wanted to get rid of the 2 am feed too but didn't have it in me just straight cut it out. He is going great guns with his solid meals and eats like a little piglet, gobbling up everything we give him until his gut swells like a snake that swallowed an egg. He'd get up for night feeds out of habit rather than hunger. Well I'm pleased to announce that he is now sleeping through the night from about 6 - 6 without feeds because he has figured out how to just resettle himself. I never had to deny him feeds - he just learnt to sleep through and broke the habit himself. I am feeling so much better with some sleep myself - although I still occasionally wake up and go to check on him since he's so quiet now! The sleep deprivation was really getting to me and I was feeling extremely run down with it and really quite ill. I had so many sleep problems during the pregnancy that I hadn't had a full nights sleep for over a year before Seth slept through.
Seths development is coming along nicely. He confidently rolls over in both directions, does a backwards wiggle whilst trying to crawl forwards and is amazing with his hands. He has learnt how to shake things to make noise and has figured out some cause and effect toys, like pushing the head on his ball spinning turtle and pulling the string on his vibrating butterfly toy. He eats some finger foods and loves smooshing around pureed food on his high chair table. He can't quite sit up unassisted yet, but with some help sits up in his bath and pushes around his duck and boats in the water. He bangs away at things with wooden spoons and whisks in the kitchen. Any toy that has a large ring on it gets threaded up his arms like bracelets. He tries to "talk" to us with several consonant/vowel combos. He likes going in the heated swimming pool but hates the unheated one. He's content to sit in his pram if we're moving fast and he can sit up to look at everyone (like window shopping at the mall) but is happy to do slow browsing with me if he's in the sling. He laughs in his sleep. He loves LM and if he's in bed between us for a nap he will roll over to stroke her hair. He's very affectionate and loves to rest his head on your shoulder and give a hug with his arms. He even did it with the priest who baptised him this morning at church which melted everyones hearts due to extreme cuteness. I never knew I could love someone so much without any conversation whatsoever!
I'm glad for having the break from blogging. It was starting to feel like a chore in a way, but I'm feeling a bit more refreshed about it now and will start posting again a bit more. I've been a bit of a hermit in general really and not gone out that much or seen many people. I've only got a couple of more months at home before heading back to work (part time) and I'm enjoying the peace of daily rituals of parenting and home maintenance duties. It's boring and somehow healing at the same time. Odd hey?
My mother was here for a couple of days last week and arrives back again tomorrow morning. Things are very tense between us all and she annoys the shit out of me quite frankly. She is so fucking rude - not once has she asked LM about how her work or family is. She just blathers on in a self-aggrandising fashion whilst I grind my teeth. I can't wait for it to be Wednesday already when she flies out and I don't have to see her again for a long time. I'm going to a wedding down there in March, but I'm choosing to just not tell her that I'll be there so I can have a great time with friends.
I have a new nephew! He was born at home in a birthing pool and is cute as a button. The Captain and his wife are doing well and we're looking forward to visiting them at Christmas time to meet the new addition to the family.
Speaking of the Christmas trip - we're a bit insane aren't we? Taking a driving tour to the other end of the state in the middle of summer with a (then) 8 month old? It will take 16 hours of driving to get to our destination and we're breaking it up over 2 days. I need to borrow a porta-cot and we're going to have to use disposable nappies since I doubt the cloth ones will smell good in 40 degree weather - phewwwwww!
Seth is the most amazingly wonderful little boy now. He has started sleeping through over the last couple of nights which is a huge relief. We ended up having some real sleep troubles with him. It used to be that he wouldn't nap during the day but at least he would lay his head down at 6pm and then just briefly wake every 3 - 4 hours for a feed before sleeping again. When he turned about 5 months and started accelerating his development massively he started having some real troubles with staying asleep at night. He would roll over and wave his arms around and chat to himself and I was getting only a few hours of broken sleep a night myself because I would be constantly resettling him. We moved the cot into our room because he'd outgrown the bassinet and LM would often get up in the night and find me asleep in awful contorted angles with my arm through the bars of the cot to comfort Seth.
Things got worse when Seth would go down to sleep after a lot of settling (a new development after going down easily for so long) and would sleep for about 1 1/2 hours and then wake up and scream scream scream until his next feed. He was exhausted so he'd cry, but he'd want our company so he'd stay awake. It didn't matter what we did for him he would not settle until the next feed - he would just scream and fight and cry. So since he cried when we tried to settle him (this is for a couple of weeks mind you) we thought we'd see what would happen if we didn't try to settle him. We did controlled crying. I'm not going to give it any bullshit names like "controlled comforting" cause the point is that they cry really.
We moved his cot into his room and I sobbed as we dismantled it and moved it and set it up again. My little baby wouldn't be in arms reach any more! But I was also praying that this would work because if things kept going on as they were I was literally going to get sick from massive sleep deprivation. I'd read about the Ferber method and quite frankly thought that he leaves babies to cry for too long. We started out very gently and left Seth for 2 minutes at first, building up to 15 minutes for the first couple of nights. The first night he cried for 2 hours until his 10pm feed and then went to sleep easily after that feed. That's how much he would have cried out of his cot anyway so even though it was stressful for us to hear him cry it had already been stressful for us every night anyway. The next night he cried for about 1 1/2 hour and then slept for 1/2 an hour before having his 10 pm feed. Gradually things got easier and easier and now he usually cries for maybe 5 minutes when we first pop him down and that's it.
I really wanted to get rid of the 2 am feed too but didn't have it in me just straight cut it out. He is going great guns with his solid meals and eats like a little piglet, gobbling up everything we give him until his gut swells like a snake that swallowed an egg. He'd get up for night feeds out of habit rather than hunger. Well I'm pleased to announce that he is now sleeping through the night from about 6 - 6 without feeds because he has figured out how to just resettle himself. I never had to deny him feeds - he just learnt to sleep through and broke the habit himself. I am feeling so much better with some sleep myself - although I still occasionally wake up and go to check on him since he's so quiet now! The sleep deprivation was really getting to me and I was feeling extremely run down with it and really quite ill. I had so many sleep problems during the pregnancy that I hadn't had a full nights sleep for over a year before Seth slept through.
Seths development is coming along nicely. He confidently rolls over in both directions, does a backwards wiggle whilst trying to crawl forwards and is amazing with his hands. He has learnt how to shake things to make noise and has figured out some cause and effect toys, like pushing the head on his ball spinning turtle and pulling the string on his vibrating butterfly toy. He eats some finger foods and loves smooshing around pureed food on his high chair table. He can't quite sit up unassisted yet, but with some help sits up in his bath and pushes around his duck and boats in the water. He bangs away at things with wooden spoons and whisks in the kitchen. Any toy that has a large ring on it gets threaded up his arms like bracelets. He tries to "talk" to us with several consonant/vowel combos. He likes going in the heated swimming pool but hates the unheated one. He's content to sit in his pram if we're moving fast and he can sit up to look at everyone (like window shopping at the mall) but is happy to do slow browsing with me if he's in the sling. He laughs in his sleep. He loves LM and if he's in bed between us for a nap he will roll over to stroke her hair. He's very affectionate and loves to rest his head on your shoulder and give a hug with his arms. He even did it with the priest who baptised him this morning at church which melted everyones hearts due to extreme cuteness. I never knew I could love someone so much without any conversation whatsoever!
I'm glad for having the break from blogging. It was starting to feel like a chore in a way, but I'm feeling a bit more refreshed about it now and will start posting again a bit more. I've been a bit of a hermit in general really and not gone out that much or seen many people. I've only got a couple of more months at home before heading back to work (part time) and I'm enjoying the peace of daily rituals of parenting and home maintenance duties. It's boring and somehow healing at the same time. Odd hey?
My mother was here for a couple of days last week and arrives back again tomorrow morning. Things are very tense between us all and she annoys the shit out of me quite frankly. She is so fucking rude - not once has she asked LM about how her work or family is. She just blathers on in a self-aggrandising fashion whilst I grind my teeth. I can't wait for it to be Wednesday already when she flies out and I don't have to see her again for a long time. I'm going to a wedding down there in March, but I'm choosing to just not tell her that I'll be there so I can have a great time with friends.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Not dead....
.... just sewing
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Yee-har!
